What a mess

It’s a busy time of the year, as I stated in my last column. Because of this, I don’t want to dig too deep into any one subject. Instead I will give three random thoughts on the Cubs and the NFL, as well as a mini college football preview.

The Cubs

1---In case you’ve been pulling your best Rip Van Winkle impression, I’m going to break some sad news to you. The Cubs season is over. Wait ‘till next year number 99. But since there are still 30 or so games left in 2006, it’s time to take a sneak peak into the future. Time to call up Felix Pie and see if he can really hit and run as good as Cubs management has said he does. Time to hand second base over to Ryan Theriot. Let the young starters prove what they can do. (Wait scratch that last one, we’ve been watching Triple-A starters all season long.) Unfortunately, this team is run by morons and that’s not going to happen. Phil Nevin and Jacque Jones will continue to get four at-bats a game and we’ll have as many question marks going into this winter as we did last.

2---I’m a huge Cubs fan, and sometimes my emotions get the best of me. On occasion, I maybe get a little bit mean. To be fair, I’ve been quite harsh on Jim Hendry. And I really haven’t really been a big Dusty Baker cheerleader. And to those two, I apologize. It really wasn’t all their fault. Because all along, I should have been yelling and cursing at pitching coach Larry Rothschild. No, he didn’t forget to sign any starting pitchers this winter. And he doesn’t sit on his hands when the team has a runner in scoring in position and a good bunter at the plate. But he blows up more arms then the Israeli army. Just look at the Cubs disabled list. O’Malley, Marmol, Eyre, Prior, Marshall, Wood, Miller. Seven pitchers. Sure, some of them just have horrible mechanics (Wood, Miller), but Scary Larry has something to do with most of them. When he was taken out of USC in 01, people said Mark Prior had a perfect delivery that would allow to pitch injury-free for year. Rothschild talks to him for three months and he goes on the DL seven times in four years. Ryan O’Malley was in the minor leagues for five seasons with no history of arm troubles. He pitches two games for the Cubs and strains his elbow. It’s just ridiculous that Rothschild still is in charge of our staff. Good thing Carlos Zambrano hasn’t listened to him yet.

3---A question that I’ve heard a lot recently is what to do with the out field situation for next year. Some feel that the trio of Murton, Pierre and Jones is acceptable and the team should invest in pitchers. Others think that Carlos Lee or Alfonso Soriano in left field would help the team more. And a third group of people think Felix Pie and Angel Pagan should be in the discussion. Personally I like Murton and Pagan, but I don’t think either of them are really Major League caliber, starting left fielders. But they are good enough players that the Cubs shouldn’t give up on them. In my best-case scenario, the Cubs would sign another outfielder, somebody like Jay Payton or Ryan Klesko, and let them compete with Jones, Murton and Pagan for spots in both left and right field. Keep Pierre in center and spend the majority of free agency cash on pitching.

The NFL
1---My complete NFL preview will be out next week, but I’m telling you right now, a team that’s getting a lot of talk that won’t do anything is the Dallas Cowboys. T.O. and Bill Parcells will be going at it by week four, and I just don’t trust Drew Bledsoe to make the plays. Unless Julius Jones runs for about 1,300 yards, which he can’t do if he’s not healthy, I see the ‘boys finishing in dead last in a stacked NFC East.

2---I was really impressed last night by Carson Palmer and the Bengals. Yes, they were playing the Packers, and it is only pre-season, but boy, that Cini offense looked damn near un-stoppable. When Rudi Johnson is pounding the rock efficiently, the defense has no choice but to stack the line of scrimmage. And that gives Palmer plenty of chances to beat the D deep to his great fleet of receivers. If the Bengals defense can play well, look out for them to make a Super Bowl run.

3---Rex Grossman’s struggles are really starting to bother me. It is an absolute must that he plays well this season, because without solid quarterback play, the Bears can’t even come close to sniffing a Super Bowl berth. Brian Griese is OK, but I’d rather see Rex under center when the season starts.

College Football Preview

1---I was going to do a full, complete college football preview where I listed who I thought would win every conference. But since it would be pretty much identical to everyone else’s preview, I decided against it. Instead I’m going to run down what I will be the three biggest games, the two players you should watch, and the one coach with the most pressure on him this season, all leading into who I think will be playing in the National Title game.

Game I---Ohio State @ Texas Sept. 9
Last year, when these teams had seven future first round picks between them, Vince and the Longhorns came off the Ohio Stadium field as victors. Texas went on to win the Rose Bowl; the Buckeyes went on to win the Fiesta. This year the goals are the same, just flipped. Both teams want to play in Arizona on January 8. I think Ohio State is just too fast and deep on offense, and with a freshmen QB, the ‘Horns won’t be able to keep up.

Game II---Florida @ Auburn Oct. 14
Call me a homer, call me a suck up, I don’t care. I think the Florida Gators, on paper, are one of the two best teams in the land. They have an established senior QB. They have a deep fleet of speedy wide-outs. They have one of the top front seven’s in the entire country. And they have the most intimidating home field advantage in the nation. There only flaw this year…the schedule. Road trips to Tennessee and Florida State are tough, as are home games with LSU, Alabama and South Carolina. Toss in the Cocktail Party in Jacksonville with Georgia. And you have one tough slate. Oh, and did I mention they also go to the Plains of Auburn. The Tigers have one of the most complete teams in not only the SEC, but the entire country. Unfortunately, I see Auburn winning this, ending the Gators National Title hopes.

Game III---Notre Dame @ USC Nov. 25
Last year’s game in South Bend was an instant classic won by the Trojans on a last second Matt Leinart touchdown sneak, helped of course by a helpful shove from Reggie Bush. This year USC is at home, but they don’t have Leinart0 or Bush. Instead it is the Fighting Irish that has all the offensive firepower. With Brady Quinn, Darius Walker and a good group of receivers, Notre Dame has the talent to topple the men of Troy. Look for them to take advantage of a young USC team and win this won in LA.

2---As for the Heisman, I don’t want to make a pick for that in the pre-season, because I feel it’s ridiculous to try and predict who the best player will be before any snaps have been taken. Instead, here are two guys you should be paying attention to this season:

Patrick Willis, Linebacker, Ole Miss
When you think of SEC football, big time linebacker’s from Mississippi aren’t probably the first thought that pops up. I’m guessing that it wouldn’t even be in the top 100. But Patrick Willis is a big time backer, and definitely someone to focus on in 2006. Last season he led the nation in solo tackles with 90. He had 128 total tackles, as well as three sacks, a couple of fumbles forced and an interception. This year the talent around him should be even better, allowing Willis to be even more of a force for the Rebels.

Michael Bush, Running Back, Louisville
In 2005, when everyone else was focused on a different running back named Bush from the West Coast, Louisville running back Michael Bush was tearing up defenses in the Big East. The big bruiser for the Cardinals ran for over 1,100 yards and scored a school record 23 rushing touchdowns, including a career high four in a triple-OT thriller with West Virginia. In 06, with the other Bush out of the way, all the attention should be on this one, who will lead Louisville to Big East title contention.

3--- It’s a strange time in the Big Ten, were the nation’s oldest and two youngest coaches all compete. But it’s a fourth coach, Michigan head man Lloyd Carr, that has the most pressure on him heading into 2006. Last year the Wolverine’s finished a Michigan State-like 7-5, the worst record and UM since 1984. Most people would respond to that saying, ‘OK, one bad year. It’s all right.’ Not at Michigan it’s not all right. Carr has recruited top ten talent every year he’s been in Ann Arbor, but hasn’t finished in the top ten at the end of the year for a while. And considering he’s 1-4 against Ohio State since Jim Tressel took over the Buckeye’s, the pressure’s really on Carr this season to get the job done, or he may be job hunting when the year’s over.

So with all that out of the way, who will win the new BCS title game on January 8, 2007 in Glendale, Arizona? I think every team this year is flawed. Notre Dame’s defense is too weak, Ohio State doesn’t have the secondary, Auburn doesn’t have an explosive wide out to keep defenses honest, West Virginia doesn’t have the experience, and Florida’s schedule is too tough. I think it will come down to USC (despite there loss to Notre Dame) and Louisville, with the Trojans taking home their third title in four years.

That time of the year

Thank God. It’s officially football season.

Sure, the pennant races are exciting in every part of the country with the exception of Queens, New York. Yes, the US National basketball team is beginning qualifying for the 2008 Olympics. And we must not forget that the fourth major in both golf and tennis are soon.

But America’s sport is now football, and so when the old pigskin begins to be tossed around, it is immediately placed at the front of the national sporting interest. Rhett Bomar gets kicked off the Oklahoma football team. Breaking news. Matt Leinart finally signs a contract. Front page of the paper. Clinton Portis will miss the entire pre-season. Leading off on ‘Around the Horn’. It doesn’t seem to matter what else is going on. If it has to do with football, it takes priority. So why should you be pumped about 2006? Here are 15 reasons why:


15--NFL rule changes
Finally, the No Fun League got it right. No more yelling at the ref for blowing the whistle too quickly. Put an end to screaming at your linebacker for not stripping the ball sooner. Because from now on, the ground can cause fumbles, which is the way it’s meant to be. If you’re a running back and can’t hold on to the ball when you stumble over a chunk of dirt on the field, then maybe running back isn’t the position for you. (Yes Rashaan Salaam, I’m talking to you.) The other rule changes, which include restrictions on tackling a quarterback bellow the knee and limiting touchdown celebrations, are all right, but I’m most excited about the elimination of the down-by-contact call.

14---Ohio St. at Texas
Take a look at the pre-season college football rankings. Just a quick peek. Actually, just look at the top two names on the list. Ranked number one you will see The Ohio State University Buckeyes, home of the most exciting player in college football, Teddy Ginn. Right underneath them is a little school in Austin, Texas that just happened to be the victors in last seasons National Championship game. Getting number one versus number two is almost impossible to do in the postseason. Having it happen in week two of the regular season is just amazing. If it doesn’t top last year’s classic in Columbus, it will surely be close. Winner is national title favorite. Loser has a tough climb back to the top of the rankings.

13---SUPER Bowl
Houston? Jacksonville? Detroit? I’m sorry, I thought that the Super Bowl had three criteria for a host city. It has to have a bunch of hotels. It has to be the home of an NFL team. And last but not least, the host stadium must be either domed or be in a climate where weather will not provide distractions the first week of February. While I guess in theory that those three cities do fit those three limits, these places are not desirable hosts for the country’s biggest party, Super Bowl Sunday. Fortunately for fans and players, the 2007 game will be in Miami, meaning the pre-game festivities have a chance to be as fun as the game itself.

12---The re-emergence of Notre Dame
I hate the Fighting Irish as much as the next non-Golden Domer. I think it’s ridiculous they have there own TV contract and that they are allowed to play in the National Championship despite the fact they are not in a conference. But even I can see that the game is better when the ND is a top team. Not only are they really college football’s only nationwide team, but I enjoy how they are like a wild card to the Big ten title race, with the Irish facing Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State and Purdue in consecutive weeks. (Imagine if Duke was independent in college hoops but still played North Carolina, Wake Forest and Maryland. Those teams would already have lost to a rival before ACC play even began.) Notre Dame playing a national schedule also allows for some remarkable regular season football games. Last years USC-ND match up was game of the year 1B, and this year they rematch at the end of the season. Having the Irish as a contender again means that no matter if you bleed green or despise it, you know that college football will always be a major topic of discussion in the midwestern part of the country.

11---Young guns and the old man
My older brother is 21. Soon he will enter the working class, a group that extends from people in this country ages 18-75. Usually the people with the top jobs are somewhere between the ages of 35-55. But in the coaching ranks, it is pretty much an unwritten law that if you aren’t between 45 and 65 years old, then put down your whistle, because you are either too young or too old to do this job. But three members of the Big 10 will try to prove this theory wrong. Here in Evanston, Pat Fitzgerald, who at age 31 is the youngest head coach in Division I, will try to continue the momentum that Randy Walker built as head man of the Wildcats. Up in the Badger state, Wisconsin head coach Bret Bielema, who is the nation’s second youngest coach at age 36, has the tough task of coming in after legend Barry Alverez. And on the complete other end of the spectrum is Penn State coach Joe Paterno, who will turn 80 before the season ends.

10---T.O. vs Tuna
I don’t like Terelll Owens (No respect for him). I don’t like Bill Parcells. (But I do respect him). I don’t like the Dallas Cowboys. But even I know a good story when I see one. In one corner you have the greatest physical receiver in the league that has ruined the last two teams he played for. In the other corner you have the head coach that doesn’t take crap from anyone. Eventually the bell will ring and these two will go at it. That will definitely be a must-see event.

9---September 16, 2006
Being a remote control master requires three basic skills. One, you have to know every game that is on and what channel you can find it on. Two, you have to have an in-brain timer that allows you to never view one second of commercials. And third is an ultra keen sense of the games being played, which is like a sixth sense. It’s knowing when a team will complete a 45-yard pass or return a fumble for a touchdown. Good thing for me I have these three skills down pat, because on 9.16.06, I’m going to be parked in front of my TV with a big bowl of chips, a nice cold drink and my trusty remote. Look at this lineup of games that afternoon (and what channel they’re on). Oklahoma-Oregon (ABC), LSU-Auburn (CBS), and Michigan-Norte Dame (NBC) are all at 2:30, meaning I will have to be on top of my game. Then for a nightcap trifecta we have Clemson-Florida State (ESPN), Nebraska-USC (ABC) and the granddaddy of ‘em all, Florida-Tennessee (CBS), all of which start within 45 minutes of each other. Wow. That’s six games with ranked teams facing each other. If all goes well, this will top New Years as the college football day of the year.

8---Flexible schedules
Unfortunately, I’m a big time football fan. If there are 22 men on a field, I’m pretty much forced to watch. Which means last season, I watched a lot of ‘Monday Night Football’, despite the fact that many of the games weren’t close at all. I watched a 48-3 win by the Ravens in week 15 that made Kyle Boller seem like a pro. Two weeks earlier I saw the Seahawks stomp the Eagles 42-0. And in week six, Peyton Manning and his crew of Colts took it to the Rams, 45-28.The point is, I saw a lot of ugly games in primetime, and it shouldn’t be that way. This year, that should all change. The primetime game of the week has changed to Sunday night, and the NFL has awarded NBC a flexible schedule for weeks 10 through 15 of the season. Now games with playoff implications will be on national TV, and I won’t be forced to sit through three hours of blowouts and butt-whoopings.

7---A non-Trojan Heisman winner
Let’s take a look at the last four Heisman Trophy winners. 2002 was USC quarterback Carson Palmer, who is now an NFL stud (See #6). 2003 gave us Oklahoma QB Jason White, who then came back to school and is now working at a Norman IHOP. ’04 was Matt Leinart’s year, and he also came back to USC and almost won it again last year. But 2005 belonged to running back Reggie Bush (See #2), Leinart’s backfield mate at Southern Cal. But this year, USC has no star QB or RB. They don’t have anyone who is gracing the covers of national magazines or at the top of ESPN’s Heisman rankings. So now somebody at some little known school like Ohio State or Notre Dame can win the most famous trophy in sports.

6--- QB’s coming back
Three quarterbacks, all returning from different problems. Ben Rothlessberger ran his motorcycle into a car and broke his face. Carson Palmer had his knee completely torn up in the playoffs last season and had to have multiple off-season surgeries to fix it. And Brett Favre suffered through his worst season ever, a 4-12 season in which the future Hall-of-Famer threw for nine more interceptions then touchdowns and was sacked 24 times. So how will all three respond to their respective setbacks? For Big Ben, I doubt his crash will affect him too much on the field. Favre’s struggles won’t matter, since he’ll retire at the end of the year and end up in Canton in five summers regardless of his 06 campaign. The big question is with Palmer. Last season he threw for over 3,800 yards, 32 touchdowns and led Cincinnati to the playoffs. But returning from a shattered knee is no easy task, and can be easily re-injured. The Bengals entire season relies on Palmer returning at 100%, and it will be very interesting to see how he does.

5---The beast in the East (Make that the South-East)
This kills me to write this, since my beloved Florida Gators are in the SEC and have the toughest schedule in the nation. But you have to just drop your jaw in awe when you see one 12-team conference that has eight of Sports Illustrated ‘s top 38 teams. Talk about depth from top to bottom. LSU, Auburn, Florida and Tennessee have all won all or part of a National Championship in the last ten years, Georgia is the defending conference champs, Alabama is the most prestigious school in the SEC and South Carolina has one of the league’s all time greatest coaches. Add in dangerous Arkansas and tricky Ole Miss, and the SEC is must-see football every Saturday.

4---Madden 2007
Are you serious? Did you really think that I would create an entire list of stuff I’m looking forward to and not include the release of the new Madden? This year’s game will be fantastic as usual, because EA Sports puts out nothing but the best in terms of video games. I’m excited for multiple features in this season’s game, including the Hall of Fame mode and being able to control run blockers when pounding the rock. (By the way, I feel that the day Madden is released and the opening Thursday and Friday of the NCAA Tournament should be National Holidays. How can a boss or teacher expect somebody to pay attention when this type of distraction is out there? Honestly, it’s impossible. Just close the schools, send all the workers home and let everybody enjoy these three magnificent days.)

3---New B.C.S.
Unfortunately, the new B.C.S. still stands for Bowl Championship Series and isn’t actually a Baller outta-Contol playoff System. It’s still the same format, combining the coaches and Harris polls as well as the computer poll averages. The only change is now there is an extra fifth B.C.S. game, played a week after new years. This is good for two reasons. One, it gives a greater opportunity to other teams to play on college football’s grandest stages. Teams such as TCU, Oregon and Virginia Tech would be able to shine on national TV and get the exposure they deserve. And the second reason is because it’s another marquee football game being played in the first week of the New Year, making those seven days even greater then they already are.

2---President Bush
No, not W. I’m talking about President Reggie Bush. Maybe you didn’t see his Barry Sanders-esque 44 yard run last weekend. Or the multiple ankle breaking’s he put on defenders last year in college. Don’t worry. They’ll be many more to come. I expect Bush to average around 120 yards a game for the Saints by getting about 60 rushing yards on ten attempts, somewhere around 40 yards receiving on a few dump off passes and then close to 20 yards on a couple of punt returns. His coaches say that as a rookie, he’s probably going to get about 20 touches a game. I’m guessing that those will be the 20 most exciting touches of each Sunday.

1---Title’s up in the air
Ask ten so-called ‘experts’ who the Super Bowl favorite is and you are likely to hear at least ten different answers. One would probably say its Peyton Manning and the Colts’ time. Another would give you the defending NFC champion Seahawks. Maybe you’d hear it’s the Patriots again, or the Panthers, or any team in the NFC East. And don’t forget the one’s with the trophy, the Pittsburgh Stealers. The point is there is no obvious pick to hoist the Lombardi Trophy this season. And that’s a good thing. Everybody looks forward to the year with great optimism, hope and a dream.


The same applies to college football. At least ten teams have a legitimate shot at the crystal trophy, and there are maybe 15 more could do it if they get some lucky breaks. The usual names like Southern Cal, Texas, Michigan and Miami are of course contenders, but so are many new up and coming teams, such as West Virginia, Iowa, Cal, and Louisville. Last season had as many close, down to the wire games as any, and it all ended in the ultimate title game. It will be tough to match that this season, but be prepared for anything.

What's your fantasy?

Believe it or not, I’ve learned a few things these past few years of my life. A brief review:

1--Always carry more ketchup and mustard packets then relish. No one likes relish.
2--Never get so desperate in life that you are forced to take a job in which your responsibilities include using your eyelid as a shield for flaming, airborne popcorn seeds.
3--Don’t go to Stockholm, Sweeden when there’s a chance snow may be on the ground. Because it will be.
4-- There is no situation in life that R. Kelly hasn’t made a theme song for.


5--Unless they ask, or they are in the same league as you, don’t tell people about your fantasy football league. They really could care less.
6--If somebody in your team’s bullpen has more then five fingers on one hand, don’t get your hopes up when they come in to the game with a win on the line.
7--New Trier sucks (Sorry, I couldn’t help it. And by the way, I knew this a long time ago.)
8--When in doubt, order a chicken sandwich. Even the crappiest of restaurants has a tough time messing up a chicken sandwich.
9--The only thing worse then an 8 AM Chemistry lab is an 8 AM Chemistry lab with a T.A. who doesn’t speak English.
10--Your best move is usually to fold. Second best is to raise. Calling is the worst thing you can do.

So, with apologies to all of my loyal readers, I am going to go against fact number five. I had my fantasy football draft last week, and I need to complain to someone about both the guys I missed and the players I selected. Sorry.

As a player who has won a Fantasy Public League before, I am entered in a champion league. I assumed that this meant that all of the people in the league also had won a previous title. While I have not learned otherwise, some of the picks made in the draft made me strongly question weather these people won a Public League or they actually came in first place in a private league with their only competition being my parents and Matt Millen.

For example, one team selected Jake Delhomme with the sixth overall pick. The next round, this same player took Reggie Bush. Along the way he also selected his backup quarterback (Matt Hasselbck) in round four, a running back whose contemplainting retirement (Curtis Martin) in round six, and two kickers in the first 12 rounds.

Another player took wide receivers in the first three rounds, followed by some running backs, a tight end, and a defense. It wasn’t until round nine that this team realized he needed a quarterback. He ended up settling for Kurt Warner, a great pick if this happened to be Fantasy Football 2001. Too bad for him were only playing with 2006 stats, meaning that this guy is screwed for all but the two weeks that Warner will be healthy.

But enough about the other squads in Public League 150501. Let’s turn the focus to my team, Touch (Down) the Sky. (FYI, in 2002, when I won my Public League and therefore got a lifetime pass to the champion’s league, my team name was Hard Knock Life. Maybe picking a popular Roc-A-Fella song as a team name is good luck,) I got the fifth pick in the draft, (the teams draft positions are random, according to Yahoo, though I think there must be some type of order, I just can’t figure it out) which sucked, because there are four players in my mind who are clearly above the rest. Sure enough, the top three picks went as expected. Shan Alexander, Larry Johnson, Ladanian Tomlinson. Now it’s up to the fourth guy(his team was named the rebels), and I’m just sitting at my laptop, saying over and over to myself Please don’t pick Peyton Please don’t pick Peyton Please don’t pick Peyton. Sure enough, his pick comes up as I began to debate who will be better, Clinton Portis or Edgerrin James. The rebels pick: Moss, Randy (WR). I felt like the Nuggets after the Pistons took Darko over Carmello. About two seconds later, team number six was on the clock with the draft board reading Touch (Down) the Sky pick: Manning, Peyton (QB). After the rest of round one, and half of round two, it was my pick again. I felt I should get a running back now, since I didn’t pick one in the first. I ended up with Ronnie Brown, the second year back on the Dolphins. My first five picks were rounded out with two more running backs, Dominick Davis of the Texans and Jamal Lewis of Baltimore, and a wide out, Andre Johnson, Davis’ teammate in Houston.

45 minutes later, my team was complete. I was the only guy in my league not to break Fantasy Rule one, which is only take a kicker in the last round (and never, ever select a backup kicker). Since I had Manning, meaning my backup QB will only play during the Colts bye-week, I took Phillip Rivers with my second to last pick. I like my tight end tandem, Dallas Clark and Vernon Davis, as well as my selection of the Jacksonville defense. I don’t like that any of my running backs ran for over 1,000 yards last year and none of my receivers had over 1,000 yards receiving in 2005. I’m not sure if I have the best team in the league, but I’m certain that if Peyton stays healthy, I won’t have the worst.

So that’s my team. A stud QB, a bunch of question marks everywhere else. If my sleepers come through and my guys stay healthy, I could be a two-time Public League champ. But if my sleepers sleep through 2006 though, I’ll be chillin with the Titans and 49ers in the basement of the NFL. At least I didn’t take Jake Delhomme in round one.

Time for some TV

It seems that there’s rankings for everything these days. On Friday the USA Today Coaches pre-season college football poll was released. One website ranked the best football Hall of Fame classes of all time. Every year ‘Rolling Stone’ magazine comes out with their list of the 500 best something (Artists, albums, songs, etc…) Whatever you need, there’s a publication and a list for it.

But of course my favorite subject, TV broadcast teams and studio shows, don’t have a list based on the best and worst of them. So I decided to make it myself. So here are the first annual broadcast power rankings.

NOTE: Many of these announcing teams have either yet to work together or have made some minor changes, meaning the rankings are based off both past work and potential. Also, these are just the number one teams for the networks, and I didn’t take into account sideline reporters, since I find them pointless.

10-CBS College Basketball
Studio--Greg Gumbell, Clark Kellogg, Seth Davis
Announcers--- Jim Nantz, Billy Packer

It’s a shame that this crew is so bad, because they get to be in the front row for the greatest event in all of sports, March Madness. Gumbell is sloppy as a studio host, and I don’t feel he knows the game of basketball too well. Kellogg, a former Indiana player, and Davis, a ‘Sports Illustrated’ college hoops writer, are both average. Nantz and Packer are the worst team on TV, having the horrible combination of being both negative and boring. Nantz it seems can’t wait for the Final Four to conclude so he can go announce the Masters. He often times misses announcing the action by telling a boring story that usually doesn’t make sense. Packer, who is the biggest ACC-homer out there, doesn’t respect any school that he hasn’t seen live. He never compliments anyone, and for a game that is 99% about passion, he often times seems disinterested. After 15 years, I think it may be time for the CBS-eye to wipe away its crust and get some good guys in there.

9- FOX Major League Baseball
Studio---Jeanne Zelasko, Kevin Kennedy
Announcers---Joe Buck, Tim McCarver

I don’t really like Zelasko and Kennedy in the studio. I can’t think of anything in particular but something about them rubs me the wrong way. But that isn’t the reason that the MLB on FOX is down on the list. It’s because of Buck and McCarver. Now I like Buck (More on that later), and McCarver obviously has some extensive knowledge on the game. But they both have a flaw, and it’s a big one. There huge homers. Buck is the everyday play-by-play man for the St. Louis Cardinals, a job that at least one member of his family has held since 1969. McCarver is a former All-Star catcher for those very same Cardinals, and worked with the late Jack Buck before being teamed with Joe. And since it seems like every chance they get, FOX decides to show Cubs-Cardinals games, this causes some major problems with me. Buck and McCarver always have something great to say about Tony LaRussa, Jim Edmonds or Chris Carpenter; yet can never come up with a compliment for Carlos Zambrano. They might as well have Ozzie Smith be in the booth. Nothing would make me happier then seeing a guy wearing a ‘St. Louis Sucks’ t-shirt next time I turn on the game. It would let the red bird fans know how we feel when we watch Joe and Tim.

8-ABC National Basketball Association
Studio---Dan Patrick, Marc Jackson, Michael Wilbon
Announcers---Mike Breen, Hubie Brown

I’m not sure how comfortable Patrick is in the studio role, but he does well. He knows the game, and is good at dishing off to his co-analysts. Jackson is brash and bold, often making obscure guarantees that usually don’t come through. And Wilbon is just Wilbon, the great, smart, funny guy that you read in the ‘Washington Post’ or watch on ‘PTI’. These three make for a great studio team. Unfortunately, when it isn’t halftime, the ABC team lacks. Breen wouldn’t get excited if Magic Johnson came out of the stands and played point guard for the Lakers, and Brown would go on and on explaining how this would change Phil Jackson’s coaching style. Instead of focusing about the action on the court, these two like to focus what’s going on in the huddle or on the bench, and while sometimes it’s insightful, it’s mostly a bore.

7-ESPN Major League Baseball
Studio---Karl Ravich, John Kruk, Steve Phillips
Announcers---Jon Miller, Joe Morgan

Jon Miller is by far and away the best TV baseball announcer in the business. He understands the game (A very underrated and strangely unique skill for an announcer), and even better, he understands how to explain the game. He is a good storyteller and listening to him makes the game much more enjoyable to watch. Too bad the same can’t be said for Morgan. He likes to go on and on about a certain play or player, even if they player isn’t on one of the two teams playing or the play is over. He also tends to mumble a bit and can be difficult to understand. The ‘Baseball Tonight’ crew of Ravich, Kruk, and Phillips are interesting and funny. They tend to be East Coast biased, but then again, who on ESPN isn’t?

6-CBS National Football League
Studio---James Brown, Boomer Esiason, Dan Marino, Shannon Sharpe
Announcers---Jim Nantz, Phil Simms

Brown, who used to be the ringleader of the NFL on FOX pre-game show, has now moved across the dial to man the studio show at CBS. He will meet a much better group of talent around the desk. Marino is one of the smartest studio analysts in any sport, breaking down film from both a players, fans and coaches point of view. Esiason also provides valuable analysis, and isn’t afraid to go after a player or coach if they mess up. Sharpe is there mostly for comedy, and he does his job well. Again though, like with hoops, the flaw of CBS’ coverage is Jim Nantz. I just don’t think he is a very good play-by-play man. In my perfect world, the play-by-play guy would both explain the action but also provide some analysis, either from some historical perspective, or from having conversations with a player or coach, just something. Nantz doesn’t do this. He tells you it’s a gain of five for the Broncos, but he won’t insight you on the history of the Denver running attack or why Mike Shannahan likes to pound the rock early in the game. Simms does provide good analysis, but it is wasted due to Nantz.

5-ESPN National Football League
Studio---Chris Berman, Tom Jackson, Michael Irvin, Steve Young, Chris Mortenson
Announcers---Mike Tirico, Joe Theismen, Tony Kornheiser

This crew is placed directly in the middle of the rankings, because they could either be a great success (Think a funnier, smarter Bill Walton of football) or a horrible failure (Think Dennis Miller). Kornheirser is brilliant in his newspaper columns and as the guy who shout outs all his “peeps” on ‘PTI’, but it’s difficult to tell if that will translate well into being a color analyst. I never really liked Theismen, but Tirico is built from the same cloth as Al Michaels and Bob Costas. He could do play by play for any sport, host a studio show and still be entertaining. He will make it easier to watch the game on Monday Night. The ‘Countdown’ crew of Boomer, TJ, Irvin, Young and Mort is one of the best in the business, breaking down every game with inside analysis and deep thought.

4-FOX National Football League
Studio---Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Jimmy Johnson, Yet to be named host
Announcers---Joe Buck, Troy Aikmen

With James Brown going to CBS, it is still unclear who will be the host of the FOX pre, post and halftime shows. Whoever it is will have big shoes to fill, since JB was the perfect fit for that group. He always knew when to be funny and when to be serious, when to talk about stuff on the field and when to discuss of field issues. Buck and Aikmen are a terrific duo. Buck knows when to speak, when to be silent and rarely messes up. And since there’s no chance he’ll do a St. Louis Cardinals game, he doesn’t have a chance to come across as a homer. Aikmen, who recently entered the Pro Football Hall of Fame, clearly understands the game, both from the aspect of a broadcaster and a player. He is great at breaking down what a team is doing, and isn’t afraid to criticize when a player or coach messes up. Watching a game with these two is a lot like watching a game with your buddies.

3-NBC National Football League
Studio---Bob Costas, Chris Collandsworth, Jerome Bettis, Sterling Sharpe
Announcers---Al Michaels, John Madden

Wow, four NFL teams in a row. And who would have guessed that the new kids on the block, the rainbow peacock, would be the best of all? Costas is a brodcasting legend, and since he announced Michael Jordan’s final game as a Bull for NBC, he can really do no wrong in my eyes. Collandswoth is back where he is best, which is in the studio and not the broadcast booth. Sharpe isn’t as good as his brother on CBS, but still is an average analyst. Bettis is the rookie, but I expect him to be great. But the real all-stars are Michaels and Madden. Sure, Big John has gotten older and slower, and since he is now doing night games he’s gotten less sharp. He’s still one of the best in the business at explaining the action on the field in a way that the average fan can understand it. Michaels has also gotten worse in my opinion with age, but everything sounds cooler when you’re calling the game of the week. He shy’s away from giving his opinion on anything, but he still can call a good game.

2-ESPN College Basketball
Studio---Reece Davis, Digger Phelps, Jay Billas
Announcers---Brad Nessler, Dick Vitale

Though I find Vitale annoying, baby, with a capital A, this is still the best college hoops team on television. The studio team is flawless, Nessler is a terrific play-by-play man, and even though Duke-ie V. can be a bit over-the-top, it’s hard not to get excited watching a game with him behind the mike. I’ve always thought that Reece Davis was under-used by the Worldwide Leader, so I was glad to see him man the studio during last season. Phelps is the OK, but I barley even notice his flaws because I’m too busy wondering why he decided to match his ties with the color of his highlighter. Billas is an All-Star, meaning he’s the most valuable college basketball voice ESPN has. (FYI, the other ESPN All-Stars would be Scott Van Pelt, Kirk Herbstriet, Erin Andrews, Peter Gammons and the Schwab) He is a terrific studio analyst, though I wish he got more game-time doing color commentary. Nessler paints a perfect college atmosphere picture, and uses his extensive knowledge of the game well. You know what you’ll get from Vitale, which is lots of yelling, a heart-felt love for Duke, and a hatred for any player who leaves school early. Too bad ESPN doesn’t have the rights for the Tournament.

1-TNT National Basketball Association
Studio---Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, Chares Barkley
Announcers---Marv Albert, Steve Kerr

Hey Marv, is this the best crew in the business? YESSSSS! Watching a game on TNT is so much fun, because everyone you’re watching is having a great time. The studio team of Johnson, Smith and future Governor Barkley is a must-see, even if the game is a snoozer. All three of them love to have fun, especially if it’s at the expense of one of the others. Albert and Kerr also are fun guys, but both of them realty know the game. Albert has been at every memorable pro basketball game of the past 35 years, and Kerr is a five-time NBA champ who is liked by it seems everyone. The mold of NBA color men is usually an old coach (thin Hubie Brown or Doug Collins) or a former star player (think Reggie Miller or Bill Walton). Kerr is neither of these, and it’s refreshing to hear someone who really loves the game of basketball. I can’t think of any real flaws with the TNT group.

So there it is, from worst to first. Maybe you disagree with me. Maybe my rankings will entice you to press the mute button next time you see Billy Packer on your screen. Maybe you will change your Tuesday night plans so you make sure not to miss a Celtics-Pacers game on TNT just so you can watch ‘Inside the NBA’ when the game ends. But whatever you do, make sure to keep watching. You know I will.

Busy days ahead

A lot is going on these days. The Bears opened training camp a few days a go. The Cubs just had their longest winning streak of the season and then shipped off the greatest pitcher in franchise history. The Bulls schedule was announced. College football is less then a month away. Seems like time for some random thoughts.

1--The Greg Maddux trade shocked me. Not because I didn’t think that Jim Hendry would have the ability to pull the trigger on a move of that magnitude. It wasn’t that I felt that there wasn’t a market for the Mad Dog. And it obviously came into my mind on Saturday that we could be seeing the last of Greg Maddux at Wrigley Field wearing a Cubs uniform. No, the reason I probably still am walking around with my best Phil Ivey poker face on is because you never expect your favorite team to trade away a pitcher who has 327 wins, 15 gold gloves and four Cy Young’s. It’s usually an un-written rule that you don’t let a player go who has only one question surrounding him, and that is which cap will Greg Maddux where into the Hall of Fame when he is elected five years after he hangs his cleats up? But the Cubs did. And maybe more surprising then anything is that I’m not that mad. I feel good for Maddux, who gets to end his career in a playoff race instead of the NL Central basement. I’m glad the Cubs got a sold, every day shortstop in Cesar Izturis. And I like to see that young guys like Carlos Marmol, Rich Hill and Sean Marshall are going to get a chance to prove themselves on the Major League level for the last two months of the season.

2-- Take one peek at the National League pitching stats and it’s obvious to me that Carlos Zambrano should be the pick for Cy Young this season. Big number 38 started off the season with no wins (including two losses) in his first seven starts. Since then, he is 12-1 with a sub-3 ERA. He is tied for the league lead in wins, is third in innings pitched, seventh in ERA, and first in strikeouts. Opponents are hitting .199 against Big Z, by far the best in the league. He’s also hit four home runs and has a stolen base. Oh, and in case you forgot, he’s doing this on a team with only 44 wins. Pretty damn impressive. Still, people are saying that the award will go to someone like Tom Glavine, Brandon Webb or Chris Carpenter. I guarantee you if the Cubs were more relevant, Zambrano would be an obvious number one candidate.

3--Lots of controversy is surrounding the Bears backfield so far this training camp, and as Stephen A would say, quire frankly I’m happy with that. I like the Thomas Jones and Cederic Benson are in a competition to be the number one running back spot. In the NFL these days, unless you have a guy like Ladanian Tomlinson or Shaun Alexander, you need multiple backs to carry the load. The Bears having two number one quality runners can be nothing but helpful come December when the tundra gets frozen and yards are tougher to come by. I think Jones will eventually win the job, but don’t be shocked if Benson ends up with more regular season yards and touchdowns. The other position that a lot of people are concerned with is quarterback. Will it be the potential of Rex Grossman or the experience of Brian Griese? Once again, I’m happy with a little controversy. (Better now then in December, like last season) Rex has been handed the job three years in a row, yet has never started more then three consecutive games. Griese is the new guy who doesn’t really know the system. My pick is Grossman, but the odds of him lasting all 16 games are worse then Mel Gibson saying l'chaim when he picks up his next beer.

4--The NBA schedule was released yesterday, and it appears that unlike me, TNT, ESPN and ABC really think that signing Ben Wallace puts the Bulls over the top and makes them title contenders. The Bulls are slated for a Halloween night opener at Miami on TNT, where the champs will most likely be receiving their rings. They also are scheduled to appear on national TV 20 more times then that. Pretty impressive for a team that hasn’t won a playoff series in eight years. Right now, with the season still three months away, I see the Bulls finishing second in the Central and third in the East. I hate to be repetitive, but I still feel they don’t have enough scoring and they are relying too much on jump shooting.