What's your fantasy?

Believe it or not, I’ve learned a few things these past few years of my life. A brief review:

1--Always carry more ketchup and mustard packets then relish. No one likes relish.
2--Never get so desperate in life that you are forced to take a job in which your responsibilities include using your eyelid as a shield for flaming, airborne popcorn seeds.
3--Don’t go to Stockholm, Sweeden when there’s a chance snow may be on the ground. Because it will be.
4-- There is no situation in life that R. Kelly hasn’t made a theme song for.


5--Unless they ask, or they are in the same league as you, don’t tell people about your fantasy football league. They really could care less.
6--If somebody in your team’s bullpen has more then five fingers on one hand, don’t get your hopes up when they come in to the game with a win on the line.
7--New Trier sucks (Sorry, I couldn’t help it. And by the way, I knew this a long time ago.)
8--When in doubt, order a chicken sandwich. Even the crappiest of restaurants has a tough time messing up a chicken sandwich.
9--The only thing worse then an 8 AM Chemistry lab is an 8 AM Chemistry lab with a T.A. who doesn’t speak English.
10--Your best move is usually to fold. Second best is to raise. Calling is the worst thing you can do.

So, with apologies to all of my loyal readers, I am going to go against fact number five. I had my fantasy football draft last week, and I need to complain to someone about both the guys I missed and the players I selected. Sorry.

As a player who has won a Fantasy Public League before, I am entered in a champion league. I assumed that this meant that all of the people in the league also had won a previous title. While I have not learned otherwise, some of the picks made in the draft made me strongly question weather these people won a Public League or they actually came in first place in a private league with their only competition being my parents and Matt Millen.

For example, one team selected Jake Delhomme with the sixth overall pick. The next round, this same player took Reggie Bush. Along the way he also selected his backup quarterback (Matt Hasselbck) in round four, a running back whose contemplainting retirement (Curtis Martin) in round six, and two kickers in the first 12 rounds.

Another player took wide receivers in the first three rounds, followed by some running backs, a tight end, and a defense. It wasn’t until round nine that this team realized he needed a quarterback. He ended up settling for Kurt Warner, a great pick if this happened to be Fantasy Football 2001. Too bad for him were only playing with 2006 stats, meaning that this guy is screwed for all but the two weeks that Warner will be healthy.

But enough about the other squads in Public League 150501. Let’s turn the focus to my team, Touch (Down) the Sky. (FYI, in 2002, when I won my Public League and therefore got a lifetime pass to the champion’s league, my team name was Hard Knock Life. Maybe picking a popular Roc-A-Fella song as a team name is good luck,) I got the fifth pick in the draft, (the teams draft positions are random, according to Yahoo, though I think there must be some type of order, I just can’t figure it out) which sucked, because there are four players in my mind who are clearly above the rest. Sure enough, the top three picks went as expected. Shan Alexander, Larry Johnson, Ladanian Tomlinson. Now it’s up to the fourth guy(his team was named the rebels), and I’m just sitting at my laptop, saying over and over to myself Please don’t pick Peyton Please don’t pick Peyton Please don’t pick Peyton. Sure enough, his pick comes up as I began to debate who will be better, Clinton Portis or Edgerrin James. The rebels pick: Moss, Randy (WR). I felt like the Nuggets after the Pistons took Darko over Carmello. About two seconds later, team number six was on the clock with the draft board reading Touch (Down) the Sky pick: Manning, Peyton (QB). After the rest of round one, and half of round two, it was my pick again. I felt I should get a running back now, since I didn’t pick one in the first. I ended up with Ronnie Brown, the second year back on the Dolphins. My first five picks were rounded out with two more running backs, Dominick Davis of the Texans and Jamal Lewis of Baltimore, and a wide out, Andre Johnson, Davis’ teammate in Houston.

45 minutes later, my team was complete. I was the only guy in my league not to break Fantasy Rule one, which is only take a kicker in the last round (and never, ever select a backup kicker). Since I had Manning, meaning my backup QB will only play during the Colts bye-week, I took Phillip Rivers with my second to last pick. I like my tight end tandem, Dallas Clark and Vernon Davis, as well as my selection of the Jacksonville defense. I don’t like that any of my running backs ran for over 1,000 yards last year and none of my receivers had over 1,000 yards receiving in 2005. I’m not sure if I have the best team in the league, but I’m certain that if Peyton stays healthy, I won’t have the worst.

So that’s my team. A stud QB, a bunch of question marks everywhere else. If my sleepers come through and my guys stay healthy, I could be a two-time Public League champ. But if my sleepers sleep through 2006 though, I’ll be chillin with the Titans and 49ers in the basement of the NFL. At least I didn’t take Jake Delhomme in round one.