NFL Preview part I

To officially kick off the 2006-07 school year, here’s a quick, three-question quiz.

1--Which scenario is the most painful way to lose a baseball game?

a-Walk off grand slam by a career .244 hitting backup catcher.
b-An error followed by a bases loaded walk
c-Score two runs in the top of the 11th inning only to give up three in the bottom.

2---Why does the United States continue to lose in international basketball tournaments?

a-Other countries have better players.
b-Our players can not adjust to the international rules.
c-Everyone else gives us their best shots

3---What is the best way to beat Tiger Woods?

a-Take away his 3-iron
b-Force him to play blindfolded
c-Steal all his red shirts


I bet you all want to know what the answers are? Well, I’ll tell you this. You all were oh for three, because they were all trick questions. Let me brush off my key and explain.

1--In this cased, ‘D’ stood for, ‘Having A, B, and C happen to the same team in back to back to back games.’ This of course happened to the Chicago Cubs last week, the first one against the rival St. Louis Cardinals, the final two against the worst team in the National League, the Pittsburgh Pirates.

2--For number two, ‘D’ was ‘Because nobody on the team or in the country cares.’ Why on Earth would LeBron or Carmello give 110% to beat Greece in an August game played in Japan? To every basketball player in the world, the ultimate goal is to win the NBA Title. Ask the players from China, Italy, Mexico, wherever. Only getting bronze in this pointless tournament is not at all a disappointment to anyone who actually cares about real basketball.

3---This one is the easiest of them all. ‘D’ is ‘Make sure he doesn’t show up at the golf course.’ Because if Tiger is there, he’s going to win. He could have a mini-golf putter, playing left-handed, butt naked, and he’d still be three strokes in front of everyone else. He’s just that good. Remember the scene in Caddyshack when Judge Smails is playing the greatest round of his life in the pouring rain, draining every single shot despite the horrible winds. That’s what Tiger’s doing, except it’s just normal stuff for him.


Now that we got that silly school stuff out of the way, it’s time to get into the real stuff, which happens to be my NFL Preview. Instead of giving you mock standings like everyone else, I will rank the entire NFC and AFC 1 through 16, then play it out NCAA tourney style until I get a Super Bowl. Pretty clever, huh. Today I’ll go over the NFC. Here are the seeds:


1 Carolina
2 Seattle
3 Washington
4 New York Giants
5 Chicago
6 Tampa Bay
7 Dallas
8 Atlanta
9 Arizona
10 Minnesota
11 Philadelphia
12 St. Louis
13 New Orleans
14 Detroit
15 Green Bay
16 San Francisco

Round 1

16) San Francisco at 1) Carolina---This one will be as ugly as the new referee uniforms. Nobody in the 49ers D can touch Steve Smith and Jake Dhelome, and Alex Smith will be spending a lot of time staring at the Charlotte sky when Julius Peppers puts him on his backside three times. Panthers 31-10

15) Green Bay at 2) Seattle---A lot of people may put the Seahawks on upset alert with this one. Brett Favre, in his last season, might have some extra drive to beat his former apprentice, Matt Hasselbeck, and former coach, Mike Holmgren. Unfortunately for Brett, his Packers have no chance of defeating the defending NFC champs. Seahawks 27-14

14) Detroit at 3) Washington---Now they’ve gotten rid of Charles Rogers, the Lions only have one first round bust at wide receiver on their team. The Redskins on the other hand tend to overpay for wide-outs who shouldn’t be NFL starters. If the Lions had any type of D I’d give them the upset, but I just can’t do it. Redskins 17-10

13) New Orleans at 4) New York---Some people think the Giants are overrated coming into 2006, but I really like them. Adding LaVar Arrington on defense makes them almost impossible to pass against, and if Eli Manning can step up, they could put up some serious points. The Saints are another team I like, but they don’t have enough defense to stop the G-Men. Giants 35-21

12) St. Louis at 5) Chicago---This is Rex Grossman’s year to prove that his career as a Florida Gator was no fluke. He may not have the greatest group of receivers around him, but it’s enough to make the Bears passing game a bit of a threat. The Rams do have a great group of pass-catchers, but their defense is nowhere near the Bears’. Bears 20-10

11) Philadelphia at 6) Tampa Bay---I’m still not 100% sold on Chris Simms as head of the Buc offense, but the rest of John Gruden’s crew is top of the line. As long as Derek Brooks, Simion Rice and Ronde Barber haven’t aged too much, the Tampa D should be good as usual. The Eagles have a great defense of their own, but not enough weapons surrounding Donovan McNabb. Buccaneers 17-7

10) Minnesota at 7) Dallas---The Vikings can’t have as many distractions this year as they did in 05, while the Cowboys will have about 20 times more. T.O., for all his skill on the field, is a absolute coach killer off of it, and I just can’t see a way he, Bill Parcells and Drew Bledsoe can all get along. Brad Johnson will be good enough for Minnesota, who becomes the first road team to win in this tournament. Vikings 27-20

9) Arizona at 8) Atlanta---Definitely the game of the day for round one. One team, Arizona, features a high-powered air attack with receivers Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Bolden, as well as new running back Edgerin James. The other team, Atlanta, has the leagues most exciting player, Michael Vick, at quarterback and a ferocious defensive line. The Cardinals need one more playmaker on D, the Falcons need one for offense. Defense wins in the playoffs though. Falcons 24-21

Round 2

8) Atlanta at 1) Carolina---Nothing like a good division rivalry to shake things up. These two squads know each other well, so nothing they do will surprise the other. The Flacons couldn’t stop the run last year, but for some reason, I feel they’ll be better in that department this season, and I see Mike Vick and Co. pulling the first big upset of this tournament. Falcons 14-10

10) Minnesota at 2) Seattle---Last year, Shaun Alexander gained 1,880 rushing yards behind a beast of an offensive line, anchored by guard Steve Hutchinson. This year, Big Hutch is wearing purple and gold, plowing holes for new Vikings back Chester Taylor. How will that affect Alexander and the Seahawks? Not much in my opinion, as Seattle continues its run back to the Super Bowl by disposing of Minnesota in the great northwest. Seahawks 31-17

6) Tampa Bay at 3) Washington---These two teams met twice last season, with both going down to the wire. The first time they met, in Week 10, the Bucs won 36-36 after Tampa went for two with less then a minute left in the 4th quarter and Mike Allstot got the ball over the goal line by a finger-nail. Then in the first round of the playoffs, the Redskins were victorious 17-10 after Buccaneer receiver Edell Sheppard dropped a perfect pass in the end zone that would have tied the game. I expect an equally close game this time, with Tampa’s more balanced offensive attack and more experienced defense coming out as winners. Buccaneers 24-17

5) Chicago at 4) New York---As I said earlier, I really like the Giants this season, as long as Eli Manning can play well. I also, as expected, really like the Bears. This one is tough to predict, because I can’t really see either teams offense doing anything against the opponent’s D. But since I am a Bears fan, and because the Bears happened to beat both the Rams and Giants in the 1985 playoffs on their way to the Super Bowl, I’m going with Chicago. Bears 13-7

Round 3

8) Atlanta at 5) Chicago---Last December, I was present as Rex Grossman returned and the Bears D suffocated Michael Vick and the Falcons. For all the speed that Warrick Dunn, Alge Crumpler, and Vick have for Atlanta, Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs and Nate Vasher have even more for the Bears. With this game at Soldier Field, I can’t imagine Vick will be able to be comfortable enough to get into a good passing rhythm and beat Chicago. Bears 24-14

6) Tampa Bay at 2) Seattle---This would be a very interesting game, because these teams are so similar. Both are led by very confident quarterbacks and very talented running backs. Both have tremendous defenses. And both are defined by their head coach. Personally I like the Bucs’ running back, defense and coach more, meaning that I’m picking Tampa Bay. By the way, watch out for Cadillac Williams this year. That guy’s the real deal. Buccaneers 28-17

Round 4

6) Tampa Bay at 5) Chicago---It’d be very easy for me to pick the Bears here. They are in fact my favorite team, and very talented. Their defense has the potential to be amazing, and same with their running game. Lovie Smith is a tremendous coach. But unfortunately, I don’t see it happening. Tampa Bay is just too strong in too many areas. Chicago just wouldn’t be able to contain all of the Bucs’ offensive weapons, and I don’t see how Rex Grossman and his fleet of receivers would reach the end zone against the T.B. defense. Buccaneers 21-13

So there it is, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are Super Bowl team number one. Tuesday I’ll give you my AFC bracket, as well as my pick for coach, player and rookie’s of the year. And on Wednesday I’m going to give you the winner of every NFL game of week one, which I’ll be doing all year long.