No trouble here

I realized something very important recently. If people didn’t contradict themselves, we would never learn new information. A person would end up having the same point of view for their entire lives; never realizing it is OK to admit that they are wrong.

For example, if Tupac had only recorded ‘I Get Around’ and not done ‘Brenda’s Got a Baby’, the hip-hop world would have lost one of it’s most celebrated songs. But thankfully ‘Pac realized that he could say both that he loved to be with lots of women while also expressing how important and tough it is to be female at that time.

What would have happened if Jules from ‘Pulp Fiction’ never realized the true meaning of Ezekiel 25:17 and continued leading his original path of what the righteous man should be? He probably would have continued on in his job as mobster, teaming up with a new partner since John Travolta’s Vince got flushed away, doing tasks for Marcellus Wallace.

And on the other side of the spectrum, Pete Rose is a person who eventually realized it’s all right to prove yourself wrong as long as in the end, you are telling it like it is. For almost 15 years he claimed he didn’t bet on baseball, only to reveal in 2004 that he actually did. He’s still a liar and not respected by anyone, but the point is, he learned his lesson.

So with all that being said, I have to announce that I also have learned my lesson and I’m going to go and contradict myself on something I said in last week’s column. In the piece ‘So Much on My Mind’, I ranted, “So before the talk about recording the Shuffle Remix starts, let’s just focus on the week ahead.”

And while I still feel that way, and am still aggravated that people are already guaranteeing the Chicago Bears will finish with an un-blemished 16-0 record, the temptation was too strong. So here’s my remix to the ‘Super Bowl Shuffle’, applying to the 2006 Monsters of the Midway.

Chorus:
We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start not trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Rex Grossman:
My name is Rex, and I’m an ex-Gator
If you think I won’t stay healthy, you’re just a hater
I can throw it deep, throw it short
Soon we’ll be on top of this whole damn sport
Sittin on the bench was not my thing
So in 2007 I’m going to win my ring
But I didn’t come here looking for trouble
I just came to do the Super Bowl Shuffle

Charles Tillman:
Number thirty-three here, they call me Peanut
To throw it at me, you got to be nuts
I’ll intercept the pass and take it to the house
Ask the Seahawks what were all about
I stop the run, stop the pass
Come at me and I’ll kick your ass
But I’m not here to spit this jive
I came to Shuffle like they did in ‘85

Olin Kruetz:
I run the O-Line but my name is Olin
It kinda sound German but it’s really Samoan
I hike the ball and lead the blocks
Moving really fast with strength like rocks
Try and get by me and you’ll be out
We don’t just get wins, we make it a rout
But I didn’t come here to flex my muscles
I just want to do the Super Bowl Shuffle

Chorus:
We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start not trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Thomas Jones:
Number 20 here, and I pound that rock
By quarter number four I have the D yelling ‘Stop’
But I’m going left, I’m going right
I can run the pigskin all day and night
Come at me and you know the deal
Nobody better at Soldier Field
But I’m not trying to start a tussle
I just want to do the Super Bowl Shuffle

Robbie Gould:
It’s the kicker’s turn, and I’m as good as Gould
Put my leg on E-Bay and for sure it’s sold
Cuse I make them all, from in close to far
If I stay perfect, I’ll be a star
When I trot on the field, the crowd will stand up
When I come off, the ref’s got his hand’s up
But I’m not bragging about making field goals
I’d rather talking about winning Super Bowls

Tank Johnson:
Coming through the middle, I’m the Tank
Pilling up sacks like money in the bank
Next to Tommie, next to Brown
Run at us and you’re going down
A year ago, our D was number two
Challenge us this year and you’ll meet my crew
But I ain’t here to brag about my hustle
I just want to do the Super Bowl Shuffle


Chorus:
We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start not trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Bernard Berrian:
They call me B.B. and I’m going deep
If you’re at corner don’t fall asleep
Cuse I’ll go by you and put up six
Then I pose for fans as they take their pics
Me and Rex, we got this vibe
To remind the fans of ‘85
I don’t even need to run, I’ll walk or prance
But I’d rather just stay and do my Super Bowl dance


Brian Urlacher:
Playing in the middle its number 54
I’ll pick it off and take it for a score
The next Butkus, the next Signleterry
In ’85 the D was mean, in ’06 it’s scary
Those guys passed it along and gave me the torch
Now we want to be the champs of the NFC North
But our main goal is not the division
It’s to shuffle to Miami doing a whole lot of winning


Chorus:
We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start not trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.


OK, so I’m no
Eminem or Jay-Z. Still, it’s the best I got. (And FYI, if you think you can do better, feel free to put a verse or two in the comments section.) I’ll be back on Friday with my weekend picks and a random though or two.