Why must they hate us?

I know this is supposed to be my weekly NFL column, and there is plenty of football news to discuss. The biggest of that is Rex Grossman getting benched for Brian Griese, something that I (and Lovie Smith apparently) finally accepted was a good idea after last week’s disaster versus the Cowboys. That could cover close to a thousand words, but it’s not what I want to cover. (I will be giving my Week 4 picks though) My entire week has been one hundred percent concentrated on the Cubs, and after Thursday’s heart-breaking loss to the Marlins, I came up with a theory: The city of Miami has a grudge against the city of Chicago. There’s no reason to explain it, but there are facts that back it up. Here are the five biggest ways that South Beach has screwed the Windy City.

Honorable mention: This week’s Marlins-Cubs sweep, Heat over Bulls in ’06 playoffs (Though I would say we got revenge this year), and of course giving George Bush the 2000 election (Screwing more than just the Chicago).

5- James Posey attempts to decapitate Kirk Hinrich and Loul Deng
Before the 2006 Bulls-Heat playoff series, James Posey was just another scrub, some guy who filled out a roster but never meant much of anything to anybody in the Chi. I knew he played for Miami, and that’s about it. Then, with the Bulls up 100-85 in game four of the series, Posey went from just another scrub to a prime spot on my sports enemies list. That’s because he gave a forearm shiver
to Kirk Hinrich, an old Pat Riley trick to try and intimidate the opponent. It didn’t work, because Kirk got right up and was fine for the rest of the series, while Posey was suspended for a game.

The following year, the Bulls opened the season giving Miami a 42-point whooping on their home court. Maybe Posey was offended by that, because when the teams met again in December, he laid this shot on Loul Deng, even more intentional than Hinrich’s was. (You’ll notice also at the end of that video that Posey also took down Tyrus Thomas in that season opener.) That moved him up from a Charles Martin level enemy (Marin body-slammed Jim McMahon in 1985 after a play in a Bears-Packers game) up to a Lance Berkman (pretended to get hit by a pitch against the Cubs in 2004 and then mocked Greg Maddux afterwards). Of course, Bulls fans didn’t forget, and gave Posey this during the ’07 playoffs.


4-Dolphins over Bears in ‘85
The Bears came into the Orange Bowl on Monday December 2, 1985 with a perfect 12-0 record. They were by far and away the best team in the NFL and people had begun talking about the team’s chances of completely running the table and going un-beaten throughout an entire season. The Monsters of the Midway had Hall-of-Famers all over the roster: at linebacker in Mike Singletary, defensive line in Dan Hampton (and Richard Dent should be in), and running back, where the best back to ever put on pads, Walter Payton played.

Of course the only team in league history (In the Super Bowl era) to go undefeated were the 1972 Dolphins. So ‘Phins coach Don Shula invited back all of his players from thirteen years earlier, had them roam the sidelines to attempt to intimidate the Bears. It worked. Dan Marino threw shredded the 46 Defense and Miami won 38-24 in what is still the highest rated game in Monday Night Football history. The following day, 12/3/1985, the Bears recorded the ‘Super Bowl Shuffle’ and of course went on to win the Lombardi Trophy a month later.

3- Heat draft D-Wade in ‘03
Nearly every mock draft in 2003 said that the Bulls, who were drafting with the seventh pick, were going to select Marquette guard (and Chi-Town native) Dwayne Wade. Flash would team with the previous years selection, Jay Williams, to form one of the best young backcourts in the league. But then, a week before the draft, Williams crashed his motorcycle into a light post, pretty much ending his career. Still, the pick of Wade would be a good one. But two picks the Bulls choice, Miami came in and took Wade. The league’s writers were surprised, thinking that Pat Riley was going to take either center Chris Kaman or guard TJ Ford. In the end, the Bulls grabbed Kirk Hinrich to replace Williams, which has worked out fine, while D-Wade might end up being the best player of his generation.

2-Rain in Super Bowl XLI
OK, I guess we really can’t blame this one on the city of Miami or one of its teams, because it was Mother Nature’s fault. But it was in southern Florida, so therefore, I can attribute it to my theory. I still firmly believe that if the sky had been clear and the ball had been dry, like in every other Super Bowl in NFL history, the Bears would have beaten the Colts. Rex Grossman couldn’t hold on to the football and the defenders couldn’t hold on to the Indy running backs. Would it be too much to ask that on the day of the most important football game of my entire life I get some nice weather? I guess not, which is just further proof that Miami hates us.

1-Marlins over Cubs in ‘03
Excuse me if I start rambling here, but this is still a very sensitive subject. It’s like asking my Grandma about World War II or talking to Kanye West about his recent MTV awards performance. Anyways, I remember this entire series like it happened last week.

Game one was a marathon, and I was at Wrigley (standing up the entire time) for all eleven innings. Sammy Sosa’s home run in the bottom of the ninth to tie the game up was one of the most un-frickin-believable things I have ever seen live in my entire life. Of course Mark Guthrie (yeah, he was on the playoff roster) gave up a homer in the eleventh and the Cubs lost 9-8.

Game two also supplied craziness, but for a different reason. The Cubs lineup crushed the Marlins pitching, and Sosa hit a homer that hit the camera stand in dead center field, probably 450 feet from home plate. I just remember seeing Kenny Lofton laughing when he saw how far the ball went. We tied the series up at one, winning 12-3.

Game three was again one to remember. Doug Glanville tripled in the eleventh inning to drive in Kenny Lofton, giving the Cubs 5-4 lead. Then Mike Remlinger, who had been inconsistent all year, got the Marlins out in the bottom of the inning facing Jaun Pierre, Luis Castillon and Pudge Rodriguez and Derek Lee. Clutch performance.

Game four was probablly the least memorable game in the series. The Cubs scored four in the top of the first, two in the third and one in the forth and the Fish never came close to making it a game. We were now one game away from the World Series after the 8-3 win.

Game five was another boring one, because the Cubs offense decided to not show up to Pro Player Stadium. (Or is it Joe Robbie Stadium? Or Dolphin Stadium? I’m not sure what it went by at this time) The devil known as Josh Beckett was nearly un-hittable and Florida won 4-0. Most Cubs fans were not too upset with this, because we wanted the team to win it at Wrigley. Little did we know that….

Game six is still giving me nightmares to this day. I remember clearly selling a Pepsi to a fan in the front row (yeah, I sold Pepsi back then) with the Cubs up 3-0, then walking up the ramp to the upper deck thinking to myself ‘The Cubs are five outs away from the World Series. The Cubs are five outs from the World Series’. Of course, at that time I heard the fan reaction of a bit of disappointment, so I figured that the ump called a borderline pitch a ball. I then walked along the aisle between the 400 and 500 sections, and I heard the crowd chanting ‘A-HOLE! A-HOLE!’. I still hadn’t seen what happened. A minute or two later, after I had finished checking out from work, I saw the score was 3-2. Somebody said a fan had knocked a ball out of Moises Alou’s glove, and that Alou was going crazy. ‘OK’, I thought, ‘we still got this’. Very next pitch, groundball right to shortstop Alex Gonzalez. Double play, right? Wrong. Of course Gonzalez jags the ball, a run scores, and the game was over. 8-3 Marlins. The next day it was revealed that the fans name was Steve Bartman, who still hasn’t been heard from since. Gonzalez still has all his arms and legs and is able to do what he pleases. This never made sense to me.

Game seven was the biggest mortal lock in gambling history. There was no way the Cubs were going to win after so horribly blowing the previous nights game. Even after Kerry Wood hit a three-run homer to tie the game in the second inning, it was never even close. The Marlins won 9-6 and went onto win the World Series.


There you go. If that’s not enough proof that Miami hates Chicago, I don’t know what to tell you. Just don’t visit South Beach if you can avoid it.




Here’s the week four NFL picks…

My picks in bold

Green Bay at Minnesota

Houston at Atlanta

New York Jets at Buffalo

Baltimore at Cleveland

St. Louis at Dallas

Chicago at Detroit (Though I have say, I’m very worried about this game for the Bears)

Oakland at Miami

Seattle at San Francisco

Tampa Bay at Carolina

Pittsburgh at Arizona

Kansas City at San Diego

Denver at Indianapolis

Philadelphia at New York Giants

New England at Cincinnati

Last Week: 10-6
Season to Date: 32-20